Wednesday, September 8, 2010

Amusement Parks for Adults

When we heard our friends were getting married over Labor Day in Kentucky, I was all over it: This was my chance to be all hip and visit the down-home distilleries for my favorite fancy bourbons (the ones with the cool labels and names that don't start with a "J").

But as often happens, I am not nearly as cool as I think - and my favorite bourbons are not in fact made in little family-owned distilleries down by the local creek.

The Birth of Big Bourbon

Bourbon touring is a well-developed industry in north-central Kentucky, to match a fairly recent uptick in bourbon interest across a wide demographic. When Woodford Reserve started offering public tours 12 years ago, only half a dozen people would show up; now the distillery moves a couple thousand visitors or more through its factories on a typical weekend. And in the summer of 2009, when demand outpaced the expectations of the distilleries nine years before, there was an "official" shortage of Knob Creek.

That uptick of interest is itself the product of what I now realize was ingenious marketing: During the late 1980s and early 1990s, many of the bourbon distillers started making what they call "small batch" bourbons that could be sold at a premium because of their limited supply and trendy labels (and superior quality - I am not a total cynic).

Thus Jim Beam also makes, in the same factory as Jim Beam bourbon, the following "small batch" bourbons:
  • Booker's (birthdate 1988)
  • Baker's (birthdate 1992)
  • Basil Hayden's (birthdate 1992)
  • Knob Creek (birthdate 1992)
Even genteel Woodford Reserve is not immune: not only is it owned by the same company that produces Jack Daniels, but it has also been around (in its current form) for fewer than 15 years (birth date 1996).

We made it to both Jim Beam and Woodford Reserve on our first day in Kentucky. (This was, in fact, no mean feat and involved about 6 hours of driving.) If you can get over the herd-like shepherding and the general sense that you have entered an adult amusement park (and that you are not, in fact, unique and cool), this is not a bad way to spend a day. And I learned a few things, too.

Like how distilling actually works. This is useful common knowledge and, if I had retained any of my high school chemistry, I'm sure would not have seemed novel at all. Perhaps I just liked the big shiny copper stills at Woodford Reserve.

Also interesting: fermenting mash. Woodford Reserve has these giant, two-story high, wood-slat barrels that each held 7500 gallons of thick, bubbling, orange-yellow mash that was churning counterclockwise under the force of its own fermentation.

"Boiling" mash

What I learned touring Woodford Reserve:

  • Bourbon is a sour-mash whiskey that maintains its (rather narrow) distinction from other whiskeys through stiff manufacturing regulations and an Act of Congress that defines it as a distinctly American product.
  • The grain mash used for bourbon must be at least 51% corn and must also contain some malted barley and either rye or wheat (for flavoring - most bourbons are made with rye). The only other ingredients allowed are yeast and water.
  • After the mash is fermented and distilled, it is aged in new oak charred barrels for more than two years (often more than four), which is what turns the clear grain alcohol into amber colored goodness. While the bourbon is aging, some (much) of the liquid is evaporated into the air of the warehouse, creating a heady bourbon smell that can about knock you over on a hot day.

What I learned touring Jim Beam:

  • This alcoholic atmosphere (from the aging bourbon) fosters the growth of Baudoinia compniacensis - a black fungus that stains the bourbon warehouses, and any trees or structures near them. I'm sure Baudoinia compniacensis is a requisite part of the Jim Beam "tour" because it explains why their giant sky-blue warehouses look prematurely decrepit.
Premature decrepitude of the giant Jim Beam warehouses.
Beam means business: Spread over 44 acres, the Jim Beam compound includes a church, a graveyard, and a U.S. post office. The real work goes on in a factory compound down by the creek and the railroad, with chimney stacks, loud clanking noises, and the coming and going of giant trucks that reminded me of Willy Wonka's chocolate factory.

Chocolate factory for adults.
Tourists to Jim Beam are funneled up a hill to a new "visitors" center, which is a large warehouse-like space filled with branded clothing and momentos. (An even larger visitors center is in the works - though I am at a loss to imagine what else they could possibly sell.)

Beam's visitor center, where we bought stuff.
(Prematurely decrepit warehouse in background.)
There is no mistaking the purpose of the Beam tour: to drink, and then to buy things. Whereas Woodford takes you through actual factory floors and its grey limestone warehouses, the Beam "tour" is a seven-minute promotional video, after which a college kid shepherds you back into the "visitors center" (merchandise warehouse) for a couple free samples at the tasting bar.

Free samples of Knob Creek.
But I'm not one to complain about free Knob Creek samples (and free bourbon balls). It is, after all, an adult amusement park.

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